This year was hard for everyone. For many of us from the first world (EU, USA but not only) this was the worst year since 1990. However, in a longue durée historical perspective, it is obviously not even comparable to the most terrible years of the 20th century (1914-1918, 1939-1945 and many more, even in the 1990's for some countries). Our society was living in such a beautiful, calm and luxurious abundency, that we lost our connection with the reality of nature, the reality of life and the proximity of death. The reaction of the human race for this pandemic - not the first and not even the last one we face - was unusual and odd: on one hand it proved that we are now fully a global society, a unified homo sapiens which resonates as one in deep crises too. It proved also, that science, politics and the new industry (industrial revolution 4.0) are strongly working together in a symbiosis where one can hardly separate the opinion of a politician, a specialist and an industrialist. This pandemic - although far from being the most severe and most dangerous in the last 100 years - provoked unprecedented changes in human history, which necessity will be put on the ballance of history in the future. We will see, if this paradigmatic year will change indeed the evolution of the homo sapiens and its relation with planet Earth. It is rare in history to have a great comet and the Jupiter-Saturn conjunction too in the same year: that would have been a clear sign for ancient societies that this year was a very, very unusual one.
On a much more micro-level, the society was atomized, deconstructed, individualised, isolated and virtualised or digitized. Our feelings and interpersonal relations were transformed into digital zoom, google meets, teams and skype meetings. It was a hard year for everyone, in a way or another. For me personally it was a terrible one, but it could be much worse too. At least 70% of what I consider important in life (dynamic social life, meeting friends, interaction with university and academic environments, conferences, travelling, cultural tourism, nature, walking, urban life, research in the big libraries of my field) was digitized, limited or forbidden in this year. It is enough to see my last year: 16.000 km in 4 countries, meeting 30-40 friends in dozens of cities. This year that was impossible. This created a strong anxiety in me, a struggle which I often failed to negociate in my inner world, not really famous for patience and stoicism. Online education is a total mess, a tragedy as well as online research which limited my work and made it impossible to finish many of my chapters of the book project I am working on. All my planned conferences was cancelled and I became basically a robot speaking with my power points 5-6-7 hours daily, spending 10-12 hours daily on digital media. Despite of this inner struggle - which was connected with the collective suffering of humanity this year - I tried to focus on some good things of this year for which I am very grateful.
- I am happy that in February I spent two weeks again in Berlin, meeting amazing friends (old and new too) there again. I love that city and a big part of my heart is already there since ten years now.
- glad that I had at least 1,5 month to teach in real life in early spring. That cannot be replaced by online spaces
- glad that I met in February my friends and colleagues from Szeged. I hope that we can spend more time in the future
- happy for my few, but good friends from Sibiu who helped me a lot in these difficult times with their presence, company and patience. That helped me through this year.
- glad that I spent so much time in parks, nature, forest. I had some really nice moments there, helped me during lockdowns.
- glad I visited some local touristic sites and the Szeklerland (Székelyföld) too
- happy for the most spontaneous meeting with my Alterego and his family. That was a shocking meeting in Csikszereda.
- I was lucky to spent some long nights with friends in search of Jupiter, Saturn and the comet Neowise.
- I am happy for my 10 small articles and studies which are in press now. Although it is not the product of 2020, my book on András Bodor was finished in this year too.
- I am happy for some new gastronomic experiences I made home, lot of new music, films discovered.
- greatful that in the time of crisis I realised who are those really close to me and who are the people who fail to stay close in these difficult times.
- glad that despite of my hypochondria and few hundreds of euros spent on medicine this year I am still alive at least, even if I am not healthy anymore.
I hope for myself and all of us for a better, happier year with real hugs, real interaction and lot of physical meetings too.
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